The Lord of the Sock and Harry Pothead
by Death by Bambi Tapes
Summary: *Chapter 7 up!*WARNING: DO NOT READ UNLESS PREPARED FOR COMPLETE AND UTTER MADNESS! THIS IS SCARY!! I MEAN IT!! hehe Please R&R!! All reviews will help me rule the world!!!
1. The Episode In Which You Are Scared. A l...

Disclaimer: I don't own any people, places or things in Lord of the Rings of Harry Potter. Sorry for mutilating your characters. Wanna cookie?  
  
Disclaimer 2: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MENTALLY SCARRING CHARACTERS/READERS!  
  
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Harry Pothead and Ron Weasel skipped arm in arm down the road to Riverplace. They were crossing a bridge when they heard a voice.  
  
"ALL BOW TO THE FLAMING HAMPSTERS!!", it thundered.  
  
Pothead and Weasel looked at each other. "What?" Then they were attacked by Stu the Pink Fluffy Bunny of Doom and Bob the Headless Duck. They ran as fast as they can, but soon got cornered. Bob attacked Pothead, and stabbed him with a morical blade. He collapsed, and Weasel cried over his lover's injured body.  
  
Stu and Bob were just about to finish them off, when they were rescued by a tall, dark and handsome stranger. The tall, dark, and handsome stranger chased off Stu and Bob with a lighter, and then came back.  
  
"Hey. What your name?", asked Weasel.  
  
"I am Skipper, and I'm engaged to a beautiful Elven maiden.", was the tall dark and handsome stranger's response.  
  
"Damn.", replied Weasel. "Well, then can you save my one true love?"  
  
"Sure", shrugged Skipper. "Why not?"  
  
Skipper bent over the injured Pothead and groaned. "It's too bad. I can't do anything. He needs Elvis medicine."  
  
Weasel nodded, and stood by as Skipper picked up Pothead. Weasel woulda carried him, but he could ruin his new manicure. They ran to Riverplace, where Elvis ruled the Elves.  
  
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A young hobbit was sitting in the middle of the road, eating a Tootsie Roll Pop. "Four hundred ninety nine, five hundred! Five hundred one, five hundred two. Oh my god! I reached the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop!!!"  
  
As the young hobbit rejoiced, a man in a gray robe and pointed hat walked up.  
  
"Hey ya, Gandy.", the hobbit greeted the man.  
  
"FRODO BAGGINS!!! How many times do I have to tell you, it's Gandalf of Mithrandir! NEVER GANDY!!!", Gandy yelled. "Oh, Damn. Now the author's against me, too."  
  
"What do you want, Gandy?", asked Frodo.  
  
"Do you remember that sock you Uncle Frances gave you?", asked Gandy.  
  
"SHHHHH!", Frodo looked around, then looked at Gandy again. "It's BILBO. He doesn't want people to know his real name!"  
  
"Alright. Well, you do know the sock, right?"  
  
"You mean the corrupted shiny one?", asked the hairy footed hobbit.  
  
Gandy nodded. "Yup."  
  
"Nope, never heard of it.", said Frodo.  
  
Gandy glared at him. "Frodo, it's on your hand. You know what I am talking about. You have to go to Riverplace and see the Lord Elvis. There he will decide what needs to be done with it. It may need to be destroyed."  
  
Frodo's mouth dropped open. "Destroy it?? But it's so shiny and corrupted."  
  
Gandy rested a hand on Frodo's shoulder. "I know. It's a waste of a perfectly shiny corrupted inanimate object. But it's the only way to rid the world of it's evil."  
  
"I could eat it", said Frodo.  
  
"No, you must destroy it. Get three friends, and bring it to Riverplace.", with those words, Gandy left him  
  
Frodo knew exactly which friends to bring. He called for his friends Samwise Gamgee, Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. They were called Flopsey, Mopsey and Cottontail for short. The problem was, they couldn't decide who was which name.  
  
"Mopsey, I need you to get me some ponies.", said Frodo.  
  
"Okay.", said Mopsey (Who was really Samwise)  
  
"Okay.", said Mopsey. (Who was really Peregrin.)  
  
"I'm Mopsey today, Peregrin! You were him yesterday!", protested Mopsey. (Who was really Samwise)  
  
"No, Meriadoc was Mopsey yesterday! You were Mopsey the day before, so it's MY turn!", yelled Mopsey. (Who was really Peregrin.)  
  
"DAMN IT ALL, YOU THREE! YOU DRIVE ME INSANE!", yelled Frodo. (Who was really Frodo)  
  
"Sorry.", said Mopsey. (Who was really Peregrin.)  
  
"Sorry.", said Mopsey. (Who was really Samwise.)  
  
"Sorry.", said Cottontail. (Who was really Meriadoc.)  
  
Frodo thought. And then he thought some more. And when he thought he was all thunked out, be got an idea. "I know! For the rest of this quest, Meriadoc is Cottontail, Samwise is Flopsey, and Peregrin is Mopsey."  
  
"But I want to be Mospey!", protested Flopsey.  
  
"TOO BAD!!", yelled Frodo, and the other three were quiet for a while. Then they started talking again. When they did that, it wasn't quiet anymore.  
  
*********************************  
  
Well, that's it for now. Damn that was……interesting. I love LEGOLAS!! YAY!!!! So…..what's up peeps? Please R&R. All proceeds will go to find a cure for morical blades. Maybe then Elvis can save Pothead. 


	2. The Episode In Which You Wonder What is ...

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own anything. Poor me.  
  
  
  
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Frodo, Flopsey, Mopsey and Cottontail run into Skipper, Pothead and Weasel.  
  
"Who are you?", asked Frodo.  
  
"I am Skipper and I'm engaged to a beautiful Elven maiden.", preened Skipper.  
  
"Oh. Okay. Well I'm Frodo and this is Flopsey, Mopsey and Cottontail.", and he gestured to each of them.  
  
"No, I'M Mospey, Frodo, get it right!", said Flopsey.  
  
"Nuh-uh! Bad Flopsey! I'm Mopsey! It's MY name, and you can't have it!", and Mopsey jumped on Flopsey and started to beat the crap out of him. As they tumbled around, they knocked over Weasel, who burst out crying.  
  
"My MANICURE!! My poor, beautiful MANICURE!!", he sobbed.  
  
All of the sudden a loud voice cried out. "ALL BOW TO THE FLAMING HAMPSTERS!!!"  
  
The group paused. "WHAT?"  
  
Then Stu the Pink Fluffy Bunny of Doom and Bob the Headless Duck jumped out and started chasing them. The group ran to the river, and stopped.  
  
'What do you want?", cried Cottontail.  
  
"CHEEEEEEEEESE!!", screamed Stu and Bob.  
  
"Cheese?", asked Skipper.  
  
"And the sock."  
  
"What sock?", asked Weasel. Frodo showed Weasel the sock on his arm.  
  
"Wow. Shiny.", Weasel said, impressed.  
  
"And corrupted.", bragged Frodo  
  
"Nice.", said Weasel, nodding his head.  
  
All of the sudden, water raced down the river, and swept Bob and Stu away. It was quiet for a while.  
  
"Well, that works.", stated Flopsey, and they left to go to Riverplace.  
  
  
  
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Meanwhile, in Isengard.  
  
"Saruman, this can't go on any longer.", protested Gandy.  
  
"But Gandy, I love you!", cried Saruman.  
  
"Well, I don't love you.", said Gandy.  
  
"Fine. You have elected the way of PAIN!!" And Saruman forced Gandy to breakdance on the floor. Once he got bored of that, he stored him on top of Orthanc to keep him safe.  
  
*************************************  
  
As the group went into the Great Hall of Rivendell, they saw that a party was going on. Lord Elvis was reciting poetry on the stage. A disco ball was flashing above his head.  
  
"I stubbed my toe  
  
It hurts a lot  
  
First it was fine  
  
But now it's not  
  
I stubbed my toe  
  
And swore real loud  
  
My brother saw me  
  
And laughed aloud  
  
It hurts a lot  
  
I think I'm dying  
  
But my brother's hurt worse  
  
Cause I sent him flying  
  
Now I'm stuck in jail  
  
Sad and full of woe  
  
Just because my brother  
  
Laughed when I stubbed my toe!"  
  
Lord Elvis bowed to the loud cheers of the Elves. Then the small group at the back caught his attention.  
  
"Well, what have we here?", he asked.  
  
"I'm Skipper, and I'm engaged to an Elvish maiden.", he bragged.  
  
"Yes, Skipper, I know. You're engaged to my daughter. What's with the kid?". Elvis asked, gesturing to Pothead.  
  
"Bob the Headless Duck stabbed him with a morical blade.", explained Skipper.  
  
"Well, don't be slow boy! Bring him here so I can help him!", yelled the Elf.  
  
"Okie Dokie!", and Skipper brought Pothead up. He laid him down next to the Elf. Elvis bent down over him, and pulled out a spork.  
  
"Get up.", he ordered, and poked him with the spork. Nothing happened.  
  
"Get up.", he poked Pothead again. Nothing happened.  
  
"Get UP!", he poked Pothead REALLY hard this time, and he woke up.  
  
"Damn, what was that?", asked Pothead.  
  
"It's not a spoon! It's not a fork! It's a spork! A magical spork!", sung Lord Elvis.  
  
"Oooookay.", said Pothead.  
  
"DUDE!", yelled Skipper. "That's a wicked sock!"  
  
"Yeah!", said Frodo, bragging. "It's not only shiny, but it's corrupted, also!"  
  
"Oh. My. God. Like, It's the Sock of Power!", yelled the Elvish maiden, Earwig.  
  
"It IS?", asked Elvis. He got off the stage, and looked closer. "Holy SHIT! It IS!"  
  
"I told you, Daddy.", said Earwig.  
  
"Well, we'll have to have a secret meeting tomorrow morning. Refreshment's will be served.", said Elvis.  
  
"SWEET!", yelled Flopsey.  
  
"You're not invited!", said Elvis.  
  
"Damn."  
  
*********************************************  
  
Okay, tommorrow the Council of Elvis will be up. Or maybe tonight. Sometime soon. Peace and Portabello mushrooms! 


	3. The Episode In Which There is Cheese

Disclaimer: Fine! You keep asking, I'm KEEPING THEM!!  
  
A/N: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR MENTALLY SCARRING PEOPLE AND/OR CHARACTERS!!!  
  
  
  
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The counccil of Elrond opened up. Elrond was sitting on a huge chair, and there were meny random people sitting around. "Welcome to the council of Elrond. Feel free to eat refreshments."  
  
Pothead and Weasel look at the overloading refreshment table. "WORD!", cried Pothead.  
  
"Dude!", Weasel agreed, and they ran to indulge themselves on lembas, elvish wine, and chocolate duck.  
  
The Lord Elvis cleared his throat. "Anyways, we have to dso something.......uh........ummmm." Stumped, he jumps up and does that hip- rolling thing he's famous for.  
  
Earwig screeched, and covered her eyes."EWWWWW!! DADDY!!"  
  
Elvis sat down, and straightened his robes. "Sorry. Anyways again, we've gotta go do something. And we have to do it fast or else Bob and Stu will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!"  
  
A random Gondor man spoke up. "Hey! That's my name!"  
  
The Old Gondor Guy next to him groaned and rolled his eyes. "No, your name is Boromir."  
  
Boromir thought stupidly for a second. "Oh, yeah. Oops."  
  
Elvis ignored the stupid men. He lost faith in them ever since they laughed at his hip-rolling thing. "Frodo, bring forth the sock.", and he gestured his arm to this little bench.  
  
Boromir junmped up, excited. "Frodo! that's my name!"  
  
Old Gondor Man groaned and rolled his eyes again. "No, your name is Boromir."  
  
Boromir did that stupid look again. "Oh, yeah. Oops."  
  
  
  
Frodo jumps up, and does the chicken dance. Elvis clears his throat loudly, and Frodo gets scared and puts the sock on the table bench thingie. A Random Elf looked at the sock and yelled "Dude! That's an awesome sock!"  
  
Frodo beamed "I know!"  
  
Another random elf piped up. "It's so shiny!"  
  
Frodogrinned. "And corrupted.", he bragged.  
  
All of the sudden the council is interrupted by a loud noise. The Elves, Dwraves, Men and Hobbits jump and start running around, screaming their heads off.  
  
Gimli, son of Gloin, yelled loudly. "THE DUCKS ARE REBELLING!!"  
  
His announcement sends the council into even more chaos then it was in. (A/N: P.S. CHAOS RULES!)  
  
Gimli yelled again, causing the council to scream like girls for a little while. "NEVER TRUST A REBEL DUCK!!!", he screamed, and covered his head with his arms.  
  
Frodo jumped up once again. "I WILL KILL IT!"  
  
They heard a loud gasp, and found that it came from the Lady Earwig. "NO! DON'T KILLTHE POOR REBEL DUCK!!!"  
  
Elvis sighed and annoyed sigh. "Frodo, I'm sending you to almost certain death in Mordor so you can destroy the sock. I'm sorry to have to do this, but you upset my pretty annoying daughter."  
  
Frodo nodded knowingly. "No problem, dude."  
  
Elvis looked around. "Now, we just need to choose a band for you to go with. Everyone knows you can't protect yourself."  
  
"Yeah, why does everyone want to kill me?"  
  
Skipper jumped amd waved his arm. "I WANNA GO SAVE THE WORLD AND BE KING!!"  
  
Gandy rolled his eyes. "Don't we all."  
  
"There's only one way to solve this.", said the wise Lord Elvis.  
  
"How?", asked Frodo, wide-eyed.  
  
"Eeny, meeny, miney, mordor!", said Lord Elrond.  
  
The council proceeded to do eeny meeny miney mordor, and chose a Fellowship of Eight. Gimli, Flopsey, Mopsey, Cottontail, Gandy, Frodo, Boromir and Skipper were going.  
  
"Hey! I want an Elfie to go!", yelled Skipper.  
  
"Why?", asked Gimli?  
  
"Becuase I like their pointy ears!", whined Skipper.  
  
"Fine! Legolas will go with you!", said Lord Elvis.  
  
"Who's Legolas?', asked Pothead, looking around the council.  
  
"He's not here. He's up hiding in his room.", Elvis said.  
  
"Why?", asked Weasel.  
  
Elvis shrugged, and looked towards Legolas's window. "Thousands of years of getting chased by Rabid Fangirls will do that to you."  
  
The council decided that the Fellowship would go on Christmas, so the others didn't have to spend money on presents for them.  
  
"One last thing.", said Lord Elvis. "FLOPEY GET OUT OF THE REFRESHMENTS!!! THOSE ARE ONLY FOR INVITED GUESTS! NOT ONES THAT SNUCK IN!!!"  
  
  
  
Flopsey grinned an evil grin. "CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"  
  
  
  
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MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 


	4. The Episode In Which Fangirls Attack

Disclaimer: I don't own them, so I'm taking the extreme joy of mutilating the characters!  
  
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Lord Elvis led 8/9 of the Fellowship of the Sock up to a tall tower in the east corner of Rivendell. He knocked on a door at the tippy-top.  
  
"AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! NO FANGIRLS!!!", came a scream from inside.  
  
"Legolas, It's Elvis." The door opened a crack, and a blond head poked out. "No fangirls?"  
  
"No fangirls.", Elvis confirmed. Legolas let them all in.  
  
Lord Elvis cut right down to business. "Legolas, how owuld you like to go to a place wherre there were no fangirls and-"  
  
Legolas cut him off. "No fangirls? Let's go!" And he dragged them all out the door. Even though they were NOT part of the Fellowship, Pothead and Weasel decided that they'd takeup a new job and become STALKERS!!  
  
*******************************  
  
And hour later, the Fellowship was on their quest, and everyone was pissing each other off.  
  
"Hey look! It's cheese!", Boromir cried.  
  
Skipper rolled his eyes. 'No, Boromir, that's a tree"  
  
"Oh.", the man repiled.  
  
Mopsey ran down the field, with his arms swinging. "The HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLS are ALIIIIIIIIVE with the osund of MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSIIIC! SiIINGING SOOOOOOOOOOOONG they have SUUUUNG for a thousand YEEEEEEEEAARS!!"  
  
Legolas got pissed off and pulled out his bow.  
  
"Hey look! It's cheese!", cried Boromir.  
  
Skipper rolled his eyes. "No, Boromir, that's a bow."  
  
Legolas paused. "I cannot decide who to shoot. Boromir, Mopesey of Frodo?"  
  
A gasp rang out in the field. "Me? What the hell did I do??", cried an astonished Frodo.  
  
Skipper thought for a second. He decided, although he WOULD like Legolas to kill them, he should REALLY stop his homocidal tendacys. The thought hit him like a bat outta hell.  
  
"Legolas! Look! It's FANGIRLS!", Skipper cried.  
  
Legolas let out a girly screech! "AH! FANGIRLS! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!", and he collapsed into a sobbing heap.  
  
Boromir looked around. "What's a fangirl?"  
  
"CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEE!", cried Flopsey.  
  
Boromir turned red with anger. "NO! It's MY cheese!"  
  
"It's MINE!", Flopsey yelled back.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Mine!"  
  
Frodo sighed. WIth this, they;d never get to Mordor, and defeat Sauron. Then he got an *gasp* IDEA!  
  
"SAURON STOLE THE CHEESE!", Frodo yelled, halting Flopsey and Boromir's conversation.  
  
"Sauron! That's MY name!"  
  
"No, your Boromir.", said a random voice, from a random place.  
  
"Oh, yeah."  
  
Flopsey's eyes filled with tears."The cheese? He stole my cheese?"  
  
Frodo nodded his head. "Yup."  
  
Flopsey's eyes filled with determination. "Then we must go save the CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"  
  
And the Fellowship of the Sock ran off into the Sunset, off to save the cheese.  
  
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MUAHAHAHAHA! CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESEEEEEEEEEEEEE! 


	5. The Episode in Which there is Randomness

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, though I took great pleasure of mutilating the characters!  
  
  
  
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The random group walked down a random way.  
  
"We must got through the random pass of randomness.", said a random person.  
  
"I agree randomly.", said the random random-thing.  
  
"We must get to the random person!", said another random person. "He stole our random object."  
  
"WAHHHHHHH! I miss the Random Thing!", cried a random stupid person.  
  
"Do not forget.", said a random character. "We must also destroy the random thing that is both random and random."  
  
The other random people made random body expressions. Randomly.  
  
"I LOVE OCEAN'S 11!", cried out a random random.  
  
"That was random.", said one of his random friends.  
  
"OMG! Something random's happening!", randomed a random thing.  
  
The random people did something random because random things were falling down a random thing. So they were all filled with a random emotion.  
  
"RANDOM PERSON! We must go through the randoms of random!", cried a random ranger.  
  
"I would not go through it unless things were really random.", said a random guy with a random hat.  
  
"Well, things are pretty random now!", said the previous random guy.  
  
so they all turned randomly, and went off the random thing to the random place. Randomly. Oh, and there was cheese too.  
  
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MUAHAHAHAH! RANDOM! Donde esta mi queso? Haces tu tomas mi queso? Tu debes mi nuevo queso! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry it's short. It's harder than it seems to write random things. 


	6. The Episode In Which There Is A Smell

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters on this Fanfic. Also. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MENTAL SCARRING OF ANY CHARACTERS/READERS!  
  
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A Greyhound bus pulled up in front of the 'hidden doorway' of MORIA!  
  
"Last stop, the Mines of Moria. Please exit the bus in an orderly fashion," said the bus driver, Stewart Stewie.  
  
The FELLOWSHIP OF THE SOCK exited the bus, and it pulled away. Pothead and Weasel quickly ran and hid behind a tree.  
  
"Now we have to find the door." said Gandy-dude.  
  
"I don't see a door." said Mopsey.  
  
"That's because, Mopsey, THE DOOR IS HIDDEN!" Gandy yelled. Loudly.  
  
A loud gasp echoed off the rocks. "Mopsey! That's MY name!"  
  
Skipper sighed. "No, your name's Boromir."  
  
Boromir thought for a while. "Oh, yeah." he said stupidly.  
  
Gimli groaned. "Shut up you people, and get out of the way."  
  
They all moved, and Gimli walked up to stand in front of the walls of MORIA!  
  
"Dwarves rule, Elves suck." The doors pushed open.  
  
"HEY! THAT'S NOT NICE!" Legolas yelled.  
  
Gimli grinned. "It may not be nice, but it's true!"  
  
Flopsey looked inside. "Nuh-uh I ain't goin' in there! It's WAAAY too dark."  
  
Gandy groaned. "Then what are you going to do?"  
  
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... I dunno." Flopsey said.  
  
Suddenly, a HUGE monster leapt out of the lake. "MUAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HUGE MONSTER THAT LEAPT OUT OF THE LAKE!"  
  
"AHHHH!" the Fellowship and the stalkers screamed. "IT'S THE HUGE MONSTER THAT LEAPT OUT OF THE LAKE! RUN!"  
  
And they ran into the Mines of Moria, despite Flopsey's FEAR OF THE DARK!  
  
--------------------  
  
Inside, they were greeted by a terrible stench.  
  
"Eww, what's that terrible stench. It's making my hair curl." Legolas said.  
  
"It's probably...FANGIRLS!" Gimli yelled maliciously.  
  
"AHHHHH!" Legolas sobbed, clinging to Skippers leg. "Not FANGIRLS!"  
  
"No, it's not Fangirls, Legolas." Gandy said wisely. "It's dwarves."  
  
"Hey!" Gimli yelled.  
  
"Rotting dwarves." Gandy said.  
  
"How do you know?" said a random stalker.  
  
Gandy sighed. "Since none of you are as special as me, I'll help you out."  
  
Gandy flipped the light switch, and then there was light.  
  
Cottontail looked around. "Well, I coulda lived without seeing this. What happened here, Gandy-dude?"  
  
"It's unspeakable, Cottontail." Gandy gasped.  
  
"Come on, Gandy. You can tell us." said Flopsey.  
  
"Uh-uh! Bad MOPSEY! I'm Flopsey." yelled the TRUE Flospey.  
  
"Mopsey. That's a bad boy." said Frodo.  
  
"ANYWAY-" Gandy said. "It's evil beyond belief."  
  
"What was it?" Legolas asked calmly. "A dwarf bikini contest?"  
  
A shudder swept through the Fellowship and the Fellowship's Stalkers.  
  
"Hey!" said Gimli. "Those are very enjoyable!"  
  
"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." said a disgusted Gandy.  
  
"Anyway, as I was saying, it was terrible. More terrible than Rabid Fangirls. More terrible than a dwarfish bikini contest. It was..." her let the drama of this sink in. I took a while, though, cause Boromir was there. "RADIOACTIVE GIANT MUSHROOMS OF DOOM!"  
  
Yet another chill swept the Fellowship, in a series of shocking close-ups.  
  
Mushrooms. 


	7. The Episode In Which Mushooms Fall

Disclaimer: I disclaim.  
  
A/N: I AM NOT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MENTALLY SCARRING ANY READERS/CHARACTERS.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Mushrooms?" Boromir asked. "I don't get it."  
  
Gandy rolled his eyes. "Not regular mushrooms-"  
  
"MUSHROOMS?!?! Where?!?" Flopsy shrieked.  
  
"NO! QUIET!" the Fellowship fell silent. Gandy cleared his throat and continued. "They're GIANT RADIOACTIVE MUSHROOMS OF DOOM!"  
  
"And? What's the difference?" Mopsey asked.  
  
"THESE MUSHROOMS ARE GIANT, RADIOACTIVE AND THEY'RE DANGEROUS!"  
  
"Why?" asked Boromir.  
  
"BECAUSE THEY'RE MUSHROOMS OF DOOM!"  
  
"Ooooh. I get it!" Boromir said.  
  
There was silence for a while. "Soooo.should we flee in terror or something?" Frodo asked.  
  
Gandy shrugged. "Sure, for good measure."  
  
And with that the Fellowship and the Fellowship's stalkers ran off screaming and waving their hands in the air.  
  
The End.  
  
Just kidding.  
  
Anyway Gandy ran and Skipper ran and Frodo ran and Gimli ran and Legolas ran and Flopsey ran and Mopsey ran and Cottontail ran and Boromir skipped and Pothead ran and Weasel ran and The Giant Radioactive Mushrooms of Doom ran. Wait.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHH! GIANT RADIOACTIVE MUSHROOMS OF DOOM!!!" Gimli screamed.  
  
"Not as scary as fangirls." Legolas said.  
  
And the Giant Radioactive Mushrooms of Doom ran up and ate the Fellowship and lived happily ever after with the shiny, corrupted sock, which they name Frieda.  
  
The End.  
  
Just Kidding.  
  
When they found that they were being chased by the Giant Radioactive Mushrooms of Doom, the Fellowship and the Fellowship's stalkers began running even faster. And faster. And faster. And faster until finally they broke the sound barrier! Cool!  
  
The End.  
  
Just Kidding.  
  
Gandy told the Fellowship and their stalkers to run across the Bridge of Pretty, Pretty Ponies. I mean the BRIDGE OF EVIL, EVIL MONSTERS THAT DESTROY ENTIRE CITIES, KICK PUPPIES AND STEAL EVERYONE'S LEFT SHOE!  
  
"RUN YOU FOOLS!" Gandy yelled as the mushrooms came up before the bridge.  
  
"I am the servant of the Secret Society of Evil Socks, wielder of Skipper's granny's panties-"  
  
"Hey!" Skipper protested.  
  
"Extremely large radioactiveness will not prevail you! Fungi of the Fun Guy, BEGONE!!"  
  
Nothing happened.  
  
"I said BEGONE!"  
  
Still, noting happened.  
  
"Hey, I'm talking to you up there!" Gandy screeched, and began to beat the GIANT RADIOACTIVE MUSHROOM OF DOOM!  
  
He was caught off guard when part of the Mushroom broke off and fell several stories onto his head. Gandy tottered for a few seconds, then fell over the edge of the Bridge of Pr- THE BRIDGE OF EVIL, EVIL MONSTERS THAT DESTROY ENTIRE CITIES, KICK PUPPIES AND STEAL EVERYONE'S LEFT SHOE!  
  
Skipper watched as Gandy fell. "Well, it's about bloody time. I thought that old fart would never croak."  
  
"I get his Lamborghini!" Frodo called. They all turned to stare at him. "Ummmm I mean his horse?"  
  
"Nice save." Legolas nodded.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Is that the sock?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Yup."  
  
Legolas raised his eyebrows in respect. "Wow. Shiny."  
  
"And corrupted." Frodo bragged.  
  
"Well, let's pay our respects and leave." Skipper said.  
  
"I'm not dead!" A voice came from under the bridge.  
  
"Yes you are!"  
  
"No, relly, I'm quite alright. Luckily, there was some cleaning solution down here and it broke my fall!"  
  
"You're dead!"  
  
"No, I'm not!"  
  
"Yes, you are! Quit lying!"  
  
"I assure you, I'm quite alright."  
  
"No, you're dead!" shouted Skipper as he threw a rather large stone down the abyss.  
  
"OWIE!"  
  
"There. Anyway. Now that our leader has died-"  
  
"I'm NOT dead!"  
  
"Whatever! Anyway, now I shall lead you."  
  
"Oh no.", muttered Gimli.  
  
"May the Valar have mercy on our souls." Legolas breathed.  
  
"Oh, come on guys. It'll be alright.", said Skipper as he turned around and ran into the wall.  
  
The End.  
  
No, really it's the end! I promise.  
  
"I'm not dead!"  
  
Shut up Gandy! The chapter's over!  
  
"Oh."  
  
Anyway, now it's the end.  
  
"Hey, look! Some cheese!"  
  
Flopsey! Bad Flopsey!  
  
Now it's the end.  
  
And now I'd better shut up before one of these idiots starts talking again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
So? You like? 


End file.
